Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Kissing the mouth of a gun

Why was I there again? The things that I want by me: A smoke, a whiskey, her to fuck me, to sleep, to forget, to just blow everything, the power to not look back, to just fuck it all and ride into the hot sunset…..

I was hurt, they were all dead. I released my finger from the trigger leave the barrel with smoke and the smell of burning flesh, probably the skin burned from the hot bullets. I could feel the dripping sweat on my body trying to cool me. Just then I opened my eyes and the 1st thing I gaze my look upon was her ass, perfect, as my left hand was grabbing it. Next thing I noticed was my right hand, it was pulling her red as hell hair. The first think I heard was her voice, screaming loudly as I pulled her hair harder and harder and before I know it, it was all over. Next thing I hear was her saying: you are not normal, you broke me. These cannot be covered by a dress.

I didn't fucking ask for this. But as we lay in bed and shared a smoke I wanted to tell her that all we need is to know that we love each other and that she was just perfect.

Closing my eyes forces me to look at the darkness inside. The darkness that drove me here, the darkness that left those marks on her. I had woken up to hear her screaming voice. The voice that could kill angels and slay demons. My world was getting to small for comfort. I do not know what to make of this.

Wait, wait just a minute. Talk to me! Tell me you want to go to bed with me again and just get up so we can forget what we did, just let me hear that voice again, let me feel that skin, those sweet lips and that perfume that makes my heart worm.

As the idea rips through my mind, it shatters the image of the women moving the lips. This is what I see when I look back, these moments, blinding as a flash of light, they kill you, change you, I die and I live again, remade.

I came to a midst the wreckage of my own making. I am staying here to make sure that the fire I started will not extend. But no one is waking up from this dream with a kiss. It is the way around, she kisses him to wake him up, to make him stare into the abys he created, to rip the wings that he has and make him jump.

I don’t know, is this a crime? It is against the law to be happy? How did this happen? Did life play a trick on me and shattered the mask I was wearing reveling something?


Death is inevitable, our fear of it makes us play safe, blocks down emotion and it’s a losing game. Without passion you are already dead. 

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Words...

What is this? I have to think about it.
-Calm down, take big chunks of air.
-Ssst, listen to the beating.
-It's to high.
-Calm it down.
-Look around.
-What do you see now?
-Observe everything.
-Do not interact.
-All you need to do is observe and analyse.

The best way I should do things....fuck it, that is not me. I like to heart my own beating while I rush things to the end. There is no need to stay calm. I need adrenaline in my blood. I need to feel the rush. I need to see my hands shaking........They keep me alive....

Sunday, July 1, 2012

MOBA games and the shit

I am not new to MOBA games but I kind of got tired of them, really tired. Now I am looking around I see dota2 making noise. If you ask me Valve is going after George Lucas. Let's get all the money, why not? 

I will start with dota. Dota was a nice game. It was new and was something exciting. After dota I switched to HON. Why you would ask. Because it's the new generation MOBA game that all the pros should play. I don't want delay because I don't know what the reason is(in dota it was because of the engine limitation). I want my hero to respond ASAP cause I am over 200 apm fucker that does a lot of shit.and yes, it's 2012 and all the restrictions are off since we are technological evolved as fuck. I don't like LoL because I think it's a fucking stupid game. You have splash damage on ranged heroes. Are you fucking with me? 

Now, why do I think dota2 is a fucking cash money project? Because it's the same fucking game. Oh yes, they added all the shit that HoN has. Yes dudes, you stole that shit. I know HoN got some heroes and and the base idea from Guinso and IceFrog but the rest they did from scratch. They went around the community and asked what they wanted. They did not went like little bitches and stole features from different titles. I was in HoN from the second month of closed beta(veteran fucker here) and I still play from time to time and I remember how the old map was and the old Menu with only the public matches and only PSR and shit like that. I have around 4000 matches in HoN since closed beta. I played a lot, non-stop only HoN and I know what I am talking about. 
Now, I see a lot of  embryos coming out and going: DOTA2 and MOBAs. You shit head You have no idea what dota2 is all about. It's about getting all the money they can with 0 new shit. Yes, dude. It's the same old delay system(for I don't know what reason), same old heroes, same old map and same old everything...oh wait, yes, they stole the other features of HoN. Pretty smart Valve.

So please, before talking shit please make sure you had desert. 

 

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Mirror


[...]And there I was, in front of the mirror looking hard to notice something when a terrible roar made me look closer. I notice a shadow painted deep inside of me. It was my dark passenger that was with me from the moment I decided to look in places that I ignore until that moment. He always clouded my judgement and decision making. It's was like I was having a twin that would make the other decision. It was like the line would spilt in two and every time I would take decision A he would take decision B, but at one point we would meet and we would decide together what to do.
I know that from every nightmare you wake up on the point of death but that was not an option for me. I was trying to show him that I have my own way of getting out.
Looking harder in the mirror I noticed something weird coming out of it and without thinking I touched it.
.............................................................................................................................................................


The city was lonely at that point. Rain was coming down on us that night. It was like angels lips were bleeding with no one to care. As I was looking out the window I noticed a spark in the darkness. I was hopping for some light(I was fool to think that there was light in this uncontrollable night)
I grabbed my coat and hat and jumped down the windows to try and catch that spark of light. She went away as I was chasing her. At one point I stopped to catch my breath. I looked down into the water and notice my own reflection. This is madness I told myself, as I was taking huge amounts of air into my lungs.
I was chasing a ghost, an imagine, something that is not there. I stooped chasing it and decided to go to my car and take a ride into the city.
As I was driving behind me came a pair of huge lights.........

.............................................................................................................................................................
I was laying down on the floor not knowing what happened[...]

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Alan [Fucking] Wake

I neglected this blog for some time now because work was pretty on my schedule and I started to play SC2, but Alan Wake was out on PC and I wanted to see how it feels because Microsoft went with the whole idea of: "This game plays best from the couch" like fuck it does, look at Dead Space, and it did not let Remedy to publish it on windows from the start. However I support the 360 and I get the part where they want games only for 360.

So I purchased Alan Wake, not that I did not played it on my 360, and I started to play just to check out the graphics on PC. In case you are wondering, I was playing it on a ATI HD 6950 in 1080p, FUCK YEAH!!!

I really like the whole scene how it introduced itself, but I got a little upset when I was looking at Alan's shotgun going through his hand and the textures on the cars were the same as on Xbox 360. However, they did a nice job of bringing a nice game to PC and telling Microsoft to jack off from the couch while inventing a masturbation game that requires Kinect.

So to close this up, Alan Wake is a nice port that you must have.

Now seriously, why the fuck are terran's so OP in SC2? :|